Get to the top: How to achieve a female orgasm
Get to the top: How to achieve a female orgasm
Blog Article
Whether you’re with a partner or flying solo, women often face more barriers to orgasm. From a lack of biological knowledge to mental blocks, it’s no surprise that 20% of women claim they’ve never orgasmed, and a shocking 50% wish they could orgasm more.
Though not as taboo as it once was, the female orgasm has always divided opinion. This has led to a general misunderstanding and a lack of pleasure for women worldwide. But we want to change that!
Why Are Women Less Likely to Orgasm?
Before we dive into the juicy stuff, it’s essential to discuss the orgasm gap. This term refers to the difference between male and female orgasms, particularly in heterosexual relationships. Research shows that women are having fewer orgasms than men. For instance, studies have found that in heterosexual newlywed couples, only 49% of wives achieve consistent orgasms, while 87% of husbands report regular orgasms.
So, why does this gap exist? Experts aren’t entirely sure. Some attribute it to biological differences, while others highlight a lack of sexual education and the shame surrounding female sexuality and pleasure.
How to Have Your First Orgasm
If you haven’t orgasmed before but are interested in reaching your peak, it's crucial to understand that real orgasms aren’t always like the dramatic finales you see in films. What’s most important is to take the pressure off yourself and reframe your goals. Rather than viewing orgasm as the ultimate achievement, focus on simply enjoying the pleasure.
Here are some tips to help enhance your sexual experience and increase your chances of having an orgasm:
- Consider It a Journey
Focus on enjoying the experience rather than just reaching the destination. This mindset can help remove the mental blocks that might be hindering your orgasms. - Make Sure You’re in a Comfortable Surrounding
Trying to orgasm while feeling uncomfortable is counterproductive. Ensure you’re in a space where you won’t be distracted or interrupted, allowing your mind to relax. - Take Time to Get in the Mood
You need to be turned on before you can orgasm! Spend time setting the mood and thinking sexy thoughts. Engaging with erotic stories, watching pornography, or simply using your imagination can help. - The Physical Stuff
Now, let’s get to the nitty-gritty. How should you touch yourself? Everyone enjoys different sensations and speeds, but a good starting point is to massage the area above your clitoris, gradually working your way down. Experiment with different pressures and speeds until you find what feels right. You might also want to explore vaginal penetration using your fingers or a sex toy to mix up the sensations.
What If You Don’t Orgasm?
If you’ve tried and haven’t succeeded, don’t panic. Some people find it easier to orgasm than others, and not achieving one doesn’t mean it’s impossible for you. Reflect on your last attempt: Did you feel close to an orgasm, or was there a lack of sensation? Did you enjoy the experience, or do you think a different approach or sex toy could enhance your arousal?
Consider any life stressors that might be affecting your ability to feel pleasure. If masturbation or sex no longer feels pleasurable or safe, it’s important to set boundaries and take a break.
Should You See a Doctor if You Can’t Orgasm?
Generally, it’s not recommended to consult a doctor if you can’t orgasm unless you’re also experiencing pain or signs of infection. However, speaking with a sex therapist can be beneficial. Unlike doctors, sex therapists specialize in the psychological aspects of sexuality, helping with communication, body confidence, and overcoming mental blocks associated with orgasm.
What Happens to Your Body When You Orgasm?
Understanding what happens to your body during orgasm can be helpful. It's essential to note that not all orgasms are the same—some can be stronger and more intense, while others might feel less pronounced. The physical symptoms of an orgasm in women can include:
- A sudden release of sexual tension
- Increased blood pressure
- Faster heart rate
- Quick, short breaths
- Involuntary muscle contractions (e.g., in feet, abdomen, or legs)
- Contractions of the vagina and uterus
You might experience a combination of these symptoms, and there's no right or wrong way to experience orgasm.
Other Ways to Increase the Chance of Orgasm
Playing with different elements can help you get closer to orgasm. Here are some common turn-ons to inspire your sex life:
- Spend more time on foreplay or external stimulation.
- Add a romantic story or fantasy into your session.
- Explore touching non-sexual parts of your body, like your stomach or legs.
- Experiment with kissing if you're with a partner.
- Engage your senses using blindfolds or temperature play (like ice).
The Takeaway
Orgasms might feel far out of reach at times, but as you continue exploring pleasure, you'll get closer to that elusive peak. It’s essential to take the pressure off yourself and focus on enjoyment. If you're only concentrating on achieving orgasm, you may end up feeling frustrated and miss out on the joy of the experience.
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